Chiara

Life is a contradiction! Plain an simple. You try and please one person, but yet other’s get hurt. You may have created the best elaborate plan, but it will never fall through. And once you say the “L” word…every emotion drops it’s place and breaks into shamble’s. It’s becomes a weapon and all the trust you have gained seems to become lost in some extraterrestrial abyss.That will be the first and only time you can say how you truely feel because the next time, you will feel obligated.No I am not scared however I refuse to surrender my heart to something so uncertain.Love is not an everyday commodity that allows you to bribe your way out of pain,it’s a game. And the longer it’s played the longer you will remain happy. It’s so ironic where life can take you.But What i have learned is that life is a journey and the people control your destination. Either way,we all have to take the journey but i refuse to plan anything anymore. Instead I will except every day as an adventure and throw out all the maps and guides,because I’m not going to grow up! I wanna continue to guard the innocence of my childhood. June 6th 2011 is the day that I leave and become a sailor of the United States. But between now and then i still have alot of adventures to go on,alot wal-mart runs to do and alot more paper’s to write. No, that day will not be the end of my freedom,but simply the day that alot of people will see me as a stronger woman. So until then I will live everyday as if it were my last.

I read this, and it seem’s to only make sense in my eye’s.

1.My Grandfather.

2.My Niece, Tayvien

3.My nephew Rylen

4.My Mother

5.My Grandmother

6.My Step Father

7.Christina

8.Latearia

9.Isiah

10.My brother’s

With every fault about me, I try to look at it from a 3rd point of view. I think how would this action affect this person or if I said this how would this hurt you. I sit back and realize how much I put people ahead of myself. I try and do what’s right but sometimes the right choice is’nt always the easiest to swallow. I’ve lost friend’s over my choices and broken other’s heart because of my mistakes. Believe it or not, it hurts me!…I guess this was the year for me to grow up. To take every opportunity and hold onto it tight regardless of the out come. To experience life and travel the world. To love time and time again till my heart became as dry as a desert. I know that this has also been the year that I have let people down, but if you could only look at the world from my eyes,how i perceive it. Then you would see that I’m not letting my life go but simply choosing a different and obselete path. I felt like I was just pushed onto a never ending train without a choice. But know I jumped off the train and im making my own road…and taking it day by day .                 

I worked a long day yesterday and then i went out on the lake so i did’nt really make time to do “Day 5”. So here are both and you should really comment and give me your thoughts.

Day 5: 10 Wishes

1.I wish that global warming would come to a complete halt! So that the polar wouldn’t drown and the sea level’s could stop rising and reduce all the hurricane activity down to a minimum.

2.I wish that I can become wealthy.

3.I wish that when I come out of active duty in 5 years, I’ll be healthy and alive.

4.I wish that my grandfather will live to see 100.

5.I wish that this feeling last forever.

6.I wish that I can become as strong a person as those before me.

7.I wish that I can see a shooting star so I can make a big wish :D

8.I wish those who died were still here.

9.I wish I can reverse time and undo all the mistakes I’ve made.

10.I wish you the best of luck in your journey’s. I will never wish you I’ll or negativity. I hope that whom ever you find will make you as happy as I tried.

Day 6: 10 Items I Can’t Live Without

1.I can’t live without a shower.

2.I can’t live without the love of my family.

3.I can’t live without my phone.

4.I can’t live without music.

5.I can’t possibly live without the sun.

6.I can’t live without Chocolate Cheerios!

7.I can’t live without food.

I’m not that materialistic i guess. :/

Dear Robert,

1.First of all, I wish you all the best. I will never wish ill upon you.

2.Because of your mistake’s I became a stronger person.

3.Regardless of how much I look like you, I will never be you. And as far as I can tell I’m not even you daughter.

4.All of your tactics just led you to your own destruction.

5.I can’t even pity you.

6.Every time I give you another chance to come back into my life, you always end up hurting me.

7.You lied till your own life turn into a lie.

8.Now that you’re on the edge of falling your acting like you had an epiphany and you can just fix 20 years of pain in a day. It doesn’t work like that…and at this point I can’t even see you as human but simply a black hole that sucks up everything so wreck-lessly and annihilates life without remorse.

9.But at the end of the day, you did teach me one lesson. I NEVER want to have a man like YOU in my life ever again! You are the prime example of a 47 yr-old child. It’s such a shame that i have to block you out of my life just for the simple fact that you can never bring anything good into it.

When the day comes, I pray I can give my daughter what I never got…a Father!

1. I hate being cold! ()

2. I hate lier’s

3. I don’t like fake people- if you can’t be yourself then why be social?

4. I don’t like soup or porridge!

5. If you’re stuck up, don’t even come around me because i’ll break your ass down.

Sorry, im not a spiteful hating person. Can’t think of anything else i dislike. But i do love my bestfriends, my family and my dog!…God has blessed me with so much t  hat i no longer have hate in my heart.

1.I love music.

2.I love it when is rains (especially days like this)

3.I love it when he holds me <3

4.I love food!! (my gut is clear evidence)

5.I love swimming

6.I love to wake up every morning smiling.

7.I love to read

8.I love chocolate

9.I love to temporarily borrow people’s clothes

10.I love the simply things in life.

1.My eyes change colors (green,grey to blue…some times with brown in the middle.)
2. I’m happy!
3. I love water. (Swim, play and drink)
4. I may look big a brave but deep down in side im scared shit-less.
5. Im a huge kid with a horrible temper.
6. Hope fully i can become a doctor when i grow up!
7. I think im smart.
8. I have a “inny” belly button
9. I think everyone should try and save the planet at least one time in their lifetime.
10. I’m 5”5, but yet everyone is taller than me?!?!?!?!?!?!

As the famous saying goes ” Takes a village to raise a child”, and that’s exactly how i was raised. The only person i consider to be my parent is my mother. She gave me life and for that i will be eternally grateful. I dont think i would be half the woman i am today without her. She’s so strong and so intelligent that i can pray that one day i will be like her. She has been my role model since i could remember and she taught me how to be strong.I am 20 years old now and my Mother is still teaching me skills for life. When i was growing up, nothing could get past her. And if you think you got beat or punished hard, try living under wandalee roof. It was easy but it raised me not to be an easy person. I dont think my mother really see’s how much she has done for me. And the best treasure she could have given me was an interest in books at an early age.She raised me to be independant ,regardless of how bad my situations are. She showed me that there is no gender barrier that cannot be broken down. Mom showed me i didnt need anyone to make me happy, i could do it all on my own. She showed me the importance of a penny regardless of how much i have in bank account. The best  thing my biological father showed me was the type of man i would NEVER want in my life. Me and mom lived with my grandparents when i was younger and at one point there was about 10 of us living under one roof. And when mom was on her business trips,my grandmother,my older cousin celia and my grandfather were the main ones to take care of me. I dont even think thanks would be enough to show them my gratitude. I love my family and i dont think there is one thing i wouldnt do for them.I love yall <3

WHAT A MAN! wow is the only word i can use to describe him. He is perfection in every aspect and nothing short of hansom.He’s about 6”3,washboard abs, gorgeous face, poreless skin, strong arms, beautiful smile and his voice makes my heart melt. Is a very hardworker and knows what to fight for. And no question about if he’s banking. But if he could only see that im right here waiting on him to sweep me off my feet. Hopefully one day we’ll meet. ILY Taylor Lautner….lmao bet yall thought it was someone i knew….

<3 Rah-Rah